The Living, The Dead, and The InBetween
by O.o NO FREAKING WAY
Summary: What if at the end of Shadow Kiss, Rose was the one attacked by Strigoi? Instead of Dimitri being turned Strigoi... Rose is? Maybe not. Who knows how being shadow kissed will affect the process of turning Strigoi? I certainly don't so I shall make it up!
1. Chapter 1

**Hello readers. This is my first FanFiction, so please bear with me, and reviews would be very helpful. This story will be mostly in Dimitri's perspective, just so you know. Also, most of the shadow kissed side effects and rituals and such are coming straight out of my own mind, not what was established in the books. It's not too outrageous, but I thought I'd just let you know from the start. I will try to update at least once a week, maybe more maybe less. Please don't hate me if I am unable to update! **

**Disclaimer: Everything Vampire Academy does not belong to me, it belongs to Richelle Mead. I am just a fan.**

Rose POV

My heart thudded in my chest as we raced for the exit. It was so close, but not close enough. I could feel the Strigoi gaining on us as little by little my nausea increased. If we could just push a little harder, just keep ahead for a little longer.

Suddenly, the nausea in the pit of my stomach doubled, and I turned to see a Strigoi leap out of an intersecting passage at the nearest Guardian: Dimitri. Time slowed to a crawl as an extra surge of adrenaline took over my body and mind. I will not lose Dimitri, not now that we have finally managed to make things work. I will not let anything happen to him. So I took the only option available to me- I drew my stake and jumped at the Strigoi.

He was not expecting that- he was much too fast for anyone to have seen it coming; that is, anyone who didn't have super Strigoi sensing powers (like me). We crashed in midair with my stake poised to kill. But he was fast- he twisted his body just enough that instead of plunging straight into his heart, my stake buried itself in his left shoulder.

He hissed in fury and pain, red ringed eyes boring into mine with an intensity that could have carved a hole through the walls of the cave. Eyes that flipped wide with recognition only an instant before mine did. It was the blonde Strigoi from the elementary campus. A malicious smile touched his face.

"So we meet again. This time, I shall enjoy bleeding every single drop of blood from your body. Perhaps I will give you some back in return. With all of your skill, it would be a shame not to awaken you." I didn't grace that disgusting suggestion with a response, instead concentrating on finding an opening that would allow me to stake him. What I hadn't counted on was back-up on his end.

A Strigoi grabbed me around my waist from behind, but I easily slid out of its grasp and staked it. My heart lurched when I saw her face and realized it was one of the missing Moroi- I hadn't known her name. Another one took her place, and while I grappled with it the blonde Strigoi jumped at me, pinned me down against the cool stone floor, and bit my neck. As soon as the endorphins kicked in, I stopped struggling. I had the briefest sensation of being picked up and carried away somewhere, then everything went black.

Dimitri POV

All I could think was not Roza, not my Roza_. _While we were swarmed by a group of Strigoi attacking from the intersecting tunnel, Roza and the Strigoi she was facing were swept to the back, back towards the depths of the cave. Why would she do that, why would she jump in front of me? If she didn't come back, it would be entirely my fault, and that was something I couldn't deal with. No, don't think like that, she will make it. She has to. I pushed my way free of the mass of fighting bodies, and what I saw nearly made my heart stop. It was my nightmares come to life. My beautiful Roza was pinned to the ground with a Strigoi drinking from her neck. I didn't think, I just charged.

His eyes flicked up to mine, and I could see twisted pleasure in them, pleasure at slowly draining the life from another and claiming it for his own. But before I could plunge my stake into his chest, ridding the world of this disgusting parasite, he pulled my Roza into his arms and fled with her, never breaking the link between his mouth and her neck.

He was a Strigoi, so he was faster than me, but I didn't give up. When I reached him, he was kneeling over Roza, his back to me. He was so intent on his task that he didn't even turn around as I thrust my stake through his back, into his heart. As I pushed his carcass to the side without a second glance, my breath caught in my throat.

Roza was lying on her back, with her eyes closed. Her skin, usually sporting a beautiful tan was pale as a sheet, and stone cold. But that was not the worst of it. Her beautiful, full lips- the same lips that twitch into a smile when I say something that amuses her, that press against mine with such passion that I think I might explode, that whispered my name that fateful time in the cabin- were smeared with blood. The blood of the Strigoi that now lays dead on the ground.

**Please don't get mad at me, I promise Rose is not dead or Strigoi! I would never do that, I'm not that mean. Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey, I'm back! I didn't have much homework tonight, so I decided to update :****D**** I can't guarantee that it will be this often all of the time though, enjoy. By the way, reviews really do encourage me to write more, and I have changed the format so that anonymous reviews will be allowed. Please review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy… I wish though**

Dimitri POV

"Roza, Roza please wake up," I whispered, kneeling down beside the still form of the girl I loved. Of course she gave no indication that she had heard me, because her body was most likely going through the unthinkable changes that would destroy my Roza and leave a monster in her place. Oh God, what could I do? Now that the situation had actually presented itself to me, I couldn't go through with the promise I had made her so long ago. I couldn't kill her, not even if she was a monster. Leaning forward to brush some hair off of her face, I shuddered once again at her unnatural coolness.

"Please, someone tell me what I can do," I begged, half to myself, half to whatever god or goddess might be listening.

"Do you truly love her?" I whipped my head around, searching for the origin of the voice I had heard. There was a slight shimmering in the air to my left, something hazy that was slowly becoming more defined. When it had come into full view, I just stared, unable to comprehend what I was seeing. It was the blonde Strigoi, the one I had only just killed. But he looked different. He was semi-transparent- if I concentrated hard enough, I could see the outlines of the rock wall beyond him- and his face held none of the malice it had earlier. But the most significant change was his eyes- there was no more red ring.

A ghost of a smile touched his face as he took in my confusion. "I suppose I should thank you for releasing me- it was never my will to end up a monster like that." His eyes shifted to Roza, and his expression became grave. "Words cannot express how sorry I am for what I have caused here, but there may be some hope. She is shadow kissed, is she not?" I nodded mutely, not quite able to get over the fact that I was seeing and communicating with a ghost.

"How am I able to see you?" I asked, vowing to myself that if Roza made it out of this alive, I would never again doubt her ability to see the dead, "Roza is the one who can see ghosts, not me."

He considered my question for a moment before answering, "I'm not exactly sure. Rose is shadow kissed, which would let her see me under normal circumstances, but perhaps she is temporarily projecting her power to you, seeing how she is unconscious and nearly dead. In any case, I would keep skin contact between the two of you; we wouldn't want to break this up before I have a chance to do what I came here to do."

My stomach clenched as I spoke the words, "And what would that be?"

"To help you of course," he replied, as though that much should have been obvious. "In my life, I was a spirit user, and I had a bonded partner. His name is Donovon. We spent many years trying to discover all of the attributes of spirit, and of being shadow kissed. We learned that the shadow kissed cannot become Strigoi- it is impossible. After being dead then brought back alive, you cannot become undead. That being said, she cannot recover on her own." His body began to fade, shimmering once again. "Find Donovon, he will show you what you must do. Ask Alberta Petrov, she should know how to find him. Tell him… tell him Nathan says he's sorry." With those final words, his insubstantial body exploded into light, leaving me blind for several moments afterwards as my eyes readjusted to the darkness of the caves.

The ear-splitting din of the earlier clash had long since abated, leaving the surrounding area eerily quiet. Even so, I kept all of my senses alert for another possible attack. One can never be certain when Strigoi were involved. I gently pulled Roza into my arms, and had not traversed ten feet when I heard voices calling for me and for Roza. They were familiar voices, voices belonging to people I didn't want to have to deal with yet, before I had a chance to pull myself together. I was walking through a cave, carrying the lifeless body of the girl I loved, who everyone else thought was just my student. I was not ready to face said girl's mother and the head Guardian on campus, yet closer and closer the voices came, until they were near enough to see me.

It was eerie, how their expressions changed at the same time, from worry to relief at finding me, to shock, and then horror at the fact that I was carrying a limp Roza in my arms. Both of them immediately rushed at me, but Janine was quicker.

"What happened," she demanded, her voice icy.

I sighed- how was I going to explain this? "Can this please wait until we are back at St. Vladimir's? We're not safe here, and it is a long story." She nodded her assent, but from the look on her face, I could see that I was in very dangerous waters.

**Hahaha, I know, I'm mean for ending the chapter like this ****;D**** You'll just have to keep reading to discover more. By the way, I forgot to mention it earlier, but thank you to JaceClary-DarrenShan-J. K Rowlin (please ignore spaces, it deletes itself otherwise), lovingbites, and ClauIloveDimitriBelikov for being my first three reviewers! Lots of love for those three!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm so so sooooooo sorry for not updating sooner! I have been so insanely busy with school and life, and I just got sick and I feel like coughing up a lung! Hopefully the next update will be quicker than this one, because I feel really bad about this one. :'(**

**Disclaimer: You know the drill, I don't own any of the plot, characters, or ideas from Vampire Academy, they all belong to Richelle Mead.**

Dimitri POV

I stepped outside into the slowly setting sun, shifting Roza in my arms in a futile attempt to shield her from the view of the crowd of Guardians and Moroi. I had no such luck. Within seconds, I was swarmed by anxious friends, teachers and Guardians. It was impossible to get any sort of privacy, seeing as many had jumped to the obvious conclusion. With skin as pale as hers was, and barely a rise and fall to her chest to indicate breathing, I really couldn't blame them. I looked around for support, but Janine had joined Alberta in the front of the group, giving the signal to move out. With the crowd of people surrounding me, demanding to know what had occurred within the caves, it was unlikely I would make it far. Drawing upon my nearly diminished supply of self-control, I managed to cover up my inner turmoil and put on my familiar Guardian mask. It did nothing to help calm me and my emotions, but it did wonders for my exterior. People quickly got the message that I wasn't going to speak, they stopped badgering me and left me to myself. Except for one.

"Guardian Belikov," what is going on? Eddie Castile demanded, his eyes boring into mine. I remained impassive, because if I spoke I would not be able to hold my emotions back. And out here, beyond the wards and with the sun nearly gone, that would be a very dangerous thing. He seemed frustrated by my lack of response, but didn't give up. "Look, Rose is my friend, and I owe her my life. I want to help her as much as you do, so tell me what's wrong with her and maybe I can help." I don't know why, but at his words I just snapped.

"You want to help," I whispered, my voice menacing in the short distance between us, "then leave me alone." With that I ran. I ran past the rest of the group, past the wards, and I didn't stop running until I had reached Roza's dorm. After locking the door I laid her down gently on the bed, as though she were made of glass, and collapsed onto the single chair in the corner, finally cracking.

I was glad that there was no one here to see this. In all of my years, I can't ever remember breaking down like this. I was always strong, always able to think past the fear of the situation at hand and do what was necessary, but not now. Not when what is at risk is so much more precious than my own life.

Minutes could have passed, hours even, but I felt outside of time. Eventually however, there was a timid knock on the door. There was no use avoiding the issue, so I heaved myself out of the chair and took several deep breaths- that always seemed to help calm me down. When I was in control of myself, I glanced up at the clock- shocked to find that three hours had passed since my arrival- and opened the door. Outside of Roza's room stood Alberta, Janine, Eddie Castile, Vasilisa Dragomir, Christian Ozera, and an extremely drunk Adrian Ivashkov.

I let them in- there was no use trying to stop them. When the Princess caught sight of Roza's pallid, unmoving form, she cried out and ran towards her. Automatically, I moved in and caught her by the shoulders. Until we had more information, I could not be sure that attempting to heal Roza would not put Vasilisa in danger, and Roza would never want that.

"Please sit down, all of you," I rasped, surprising everyone in the room, including myself. I sounded terrible- apparently hours of uncontrolled weeping did that to you.

Christian guided a shaking Vasilisa to one end of the room's spare bed, Janine and Alberta taking up the other end. Eddie sat down on the chair that I had so recently vacated, while Ivashkov just keeled over where he was standing. I was honestly surprised he had managed to stay on his feet for so long.

Looking around at the people assembled here, I knew that they would have to be told the truth soon, but not now. I couldn't reveal a secret that was never completely mine. And while we all had Roza's safety at the front of our minds, I couldn't bring myself to add to their burdens. But they needed to know what took place in the caves, and only I could enlighten them, so I took a deep breath and began my story.

"The first you should all know, just so we can be on the same page, is that Rose is shadow kissed, meaning she has died and come back. Vasilisa healed her with Spirit, and that is what caused the bond, along with certain abilities on Rose's part." I paused to let the information sink in. Janine and Alberta were the only ones who looked surprised by this, but they didn't remark on it, so I kept going, "When we were in the caves, Rose saved me from a Strigoi, but she was bitten and drained, and was fed Strigoi blood." There were several shocked exclamations at this, but I pressed forwards, "She did not turn Strigoi. I killed the one that tried to turn her, and his ghost appeared to us. That is one of Rose's abilities- she sees ghosts. He said that the shadow kissed cannot become Strigoi, and that there is a chance for Rose. But we need help." At this point, everyone was listening in stunned silence, but it wouldn't last long. Now I turned directly to Alberta, "I was told to find a Dhampir named Donovon, and that Alberta would know him." At my words, Alberta went pale, her eyes flipping wide with some strong emotion. Fear? Pain? Grief? I couldn't tell, but something was troubling her greatly.

"No," she whispered, "that's impossible" Her words, although quiet, broke through the eerie hush that had settled over the gathered crowd, and at once, the storm began.

**I know, I'm evil! I should be punished for the way I end my chapters, but I have to do it. Thanks to everyone who reviews, any feedback is helpful. If you have any ideas about what should happen next, or just thoughts about how I'm doing so far, please review! I can't emphasize enough how much I appreciate reviews, especially ones that offer helpful suggestions. So, on that note, goodbye until next time!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello. It's been a while, I know, but here is the next chapter. I will hopefully be able to update more in the next few weeks, so you should be hearing again from me soon :) Until then, enjoy.**

Dimitri POV

Janine was in a rage, demanding to know why she had not been informed about what had happened with her daughter- clearly this was the first she had heard about Roza being shadow kissed. Her anger was clearly focused on the two Guardians in the room, and although she was a foot shorter than me, I'm sure she would have kicked my ass had the circumstances not been so grim. Vasilisa burst into tears, clinging to Christian as though her life depended on it, as he frantically attempted to comfort her. Eddie and Alberta were arguing about the next step, debating whether or not to seek out this Donovon person. Alberta was vehemently opposed to it, suggesting more common medicinal practises. However, what really held my attention was Adrian Ivashkov.

Now that I looked closely, he really didn't seem as drunk as he had appeared earlier. He was still sitting on the floor, but was staring at Roza with a degree of concentration that was uncharacteristic of someone who was drunk to the point of passing out. Noticing my scrutiny, Adrian beckoned me over with a quick motion of his hand. I sat down beside him, keeping myself between him and Roza, mostly out of instinct. He chuckled at the expression on my face, which was a cross between confusion, wariness, and grudging interest. He leaned towards me, whispering quietly enough that only I would hear him.

"I find that people have a tendency to give me my way when I appear intoxicated. Just humor the drunk, rich royal. Make sure he doesn't pass out somewhere and get lost." He sighed, then continued, "A lot of people seem to think I'm harmless enough, just a bit of a pain in the ass. How else would I get away with as much as I do? And it's a very convenient cover for nosy royals. Let them think I'm always out partying and getting drunk, rather than wonder what I'm really up to."

"Ivashkov, you are making absolutely no sense right now."

He gave me a look filled with disbelief. "Whatever you're doing, wherever you're going, I'm in. And I think it would be best to keep this as low profile as possible. Hence the need to avoid raising suspicion."

I leaned back, thinking. I had been seriously misjudging Adrian Ivashkov. He really was different from his public image. As much as I hated to admit it, he really did seem serious about Roza. He cared about her. And he was smart too; I had to give him that.

When I had turned to my inner musing, he had returned to his concentration on Roza. I realized now that he was probably reading her aura, and while I was reluctant to disturb him, he was taking far too long. Surely this wasn't normal. Suddenly his eyes widened, and I saw emotions in them that I easily recognised, as they perfectly mirrored my own. Fear. Worry. Pain.

I shot to my feet, checking Roza's breathing, pulse, anything that would indicate any sort of change for the worst. Physically, she appeared fine, which was what worried me most. Modern medicine could deal with those kinds of problems, but I was at a loss when it came to this business of spirit and auras. I was totally helpless, and quite frankly, it scared me.

"What's wrong with her?" I demanded after completing my hasty physical examination.

He took didn't answer right away, but as much as I wanted to, I didn't push him. It was obvious that he was not delaying out of spite or for theatrics, but because he truly needed a chance to recover from whatever had taken place. Although it was almost physically painful, I put on my guardian mask and waited. The room was silent- my outburst seemed to have caught the attention of everyone else present.

"Her aura is completely black," he muttered, dazed, "I don't know how that is possible, it shouldn't be possible, it doesn't make sense…" he took a deep shuddering breath, then continued, "She isn't there either, not at all. I tried to reach her dreams, but there was just a void, dark and cold, empty… She's here, but she's gone, perhaps too far to come back this time, perhaps not…"

From Roza's description, it seemed that Adrian was having one of his spirit-induced episodes. I was at a complete loss for what to do, but Vasilisa came to my rescue, dragging him into a corner to calm him down and talk spirit. Turning away from that conversation, I found myself facing Eddie, Janine, and Alberta.

Although she was quick to anger, Janine really wasn't as hard as she often seemed to outsiders. I could see it on her face that she was truly worried about her daughter, something Roza would never believe. As for myself, I tried to avoid looking at Roza as much as possible, because it was nearly impossible to do so without showing the depth of the emotions I felt for her. People were already suspicious after my performance today, and judging by the sidelong glances that Eddie kept shooting me, he in particular suspected something. How close to the truth, I couldn't be certain, but I would hope that our secret could remain a secret for a little longer.

"So Dimitri, what do you think should be our next move?" ventured Alberta, breaking the uncomfortable silence that had taken root among us. I looked directly at her when I answered the question, gauging her reaction.

"I think we should find Donovon," I replied. There it was again, that flash of pain, but only for a second before she had composed herself. No one would have noticed unless they had been looking for it.

"Dimitri, our numbers are already strained, after losing so many, and we just can't afford to send search parties to find some reclusive Dhampir that may or may not exist. It would leave the school open to another attack, and we simply don't have the numbers to repel another assault of that magnitude" While Alberta's logic was sound, it was clear that she was avoiding the subject, "We have very good doctors here, as well as two spirit users who have the ability to heal. Frankly, I don't see the point of looking for ghosts." I opened my mouth to respond, but Janine beat me to it.

"Alberta, please. We need to do something. I won't sit here and watch my daughter die."

I don't know what it was, but something about Janine just broke Alberta. She made no sound, but tears flooded her eyes and cascaded down her face. However, she managed to speak with barely a hitch in her voice, "He's in Tarasov. Clinically insane."


	5. Chapter 5

**So I really don't have much to say here at the beginning of the chapter, but please read the note at the bottom! Enjoy the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: Everything Vampire Academy belongs to Richelle Mead, not me… *cries a little***

She didn't speak after that, and I wasn't going to force her to. How she came to know about this Donovon is her business, and I have no right to intrude. Maybe if I keep telling myself that I'll believe it. In actuality, I was burning to know what had happened. Any information could be useful, anything that could help my Roza. But after the way she had excused herself and left, it was pretty clear she wouldn't be telling any stories in the immediate future. That left the rest of us to waste half an hour arguing about meaningless technicalities, such as who was going, when we should go, how we were going to see Donovon. The only conclusion we had all agreed on was that we should all be ready to leave as soon as we had more information.

My bags were packed, and I had talked to Kirova about vacation. I wanted to leave right that minute, but she needed at least 48 hours notice, and Rose would be pissed if she came back to find out I had lost my job. So after getting a decent night's sleep, my time of departure had been set for two days from this morning, with or without anyone else.

"Guardian Belikov, a word?" I sighed internally, but kept a neutral face. Couldn't I just eat my breakfast in peace? I looked up to see Adrian Ivashkov settling into the seat next to mine. Given the mood I was in- and he probably knew it with his aura reading- he had some nerve. "I understand you are to be leaving soon. I'm coming." His words left no room for argument- he was not asking me, he was telling me. "Lissa, Christian, and Eddie have all talked to their teachers, and they're fine to go. Eddie is going to continue his field exam with Janine supervising and making reports. He'll get a much more realistic experience. Ms. Carmack is willing to consider this an extra credit project for Lissa because it sounds like it will explore spirit's capabilities. And they're both going to do cram a week's worth of other school work into the next few days to make up for whatever they might miss. I haven't spoken to Alberta yet, but surely she can take a few days off." He stopped and looked at me expectantly, as though waiting to be filled in on my plan.

I had to admit, they had thought of almost everything. But while having a spirit user would be useful, I didn't want to bring students with me if it could be avoided. "And what if I say you aren't coming?" I asked, curious in spite of myself.

He laughed, "Then I would say have fun driving to Alaska while we take the school's private jet." Damn him. He had a point.

I gave him a hard look. "The sudden availability of a private jet had better not be the result of compulsion."

"Nope," he chuckled, "just two very influential royals, one being a princess, one being rich and spoiled. I didn't quite believe him, but I let it go. His reasoning would work for anyone else, and I was pretty much past caring at this point. If it could get Roza the help she needed, then it would be worth it.

"Fine, you can come" I conceded, with something akin to relief. As much as I hated to admit it, each of them would be valuable companions. Two spirit users would help smooth things over should we be denied an opportunity to visit Donovon legally- as much as I questioned the morality of compulsion, it was necessary in some circumstances. Another few Guardians and a fire user would very much help should we encounter any Strigoi- with two Moroi and Roza unable to fight and in need of protection, I needed all the help I could get.

Adrian just smirked, knowing from the start that he would get his way. As he stood up to leave, he leaned towards me, speaking softly for my ears only, "Maybe you should talk to Alberta- she was very upset last night." I knew he was right- it didn't take aura reading powers to see that Alberta was hiding something, and whatever it was upset her a great deal. Now that I thought about it, she had the morning shift with me, which started in five minutes, and was usually in the cafeteria eating breakfast at this time. It worried me a bit, but Alberta could handle her own problems, and would not appreciate it if I came looking for her.

Slipping into Guardian mode, I left the cafeteria and crept effortlessly among the trees, keeping an eye out for anything from Strigoi to students attempting to sneak back to their dorms. What I was not expecting was a faint sobbing coming from near the cabin that Tasha had stayed at when she came to visit her nephew. I tried not to to think about what it was used for more recently- the fresh memories only served to add insult to injury.

In all of the time I had known Alberta Petrov, I have never seen her cry the way she was crying when I found her. Like every other Guardian, she had learned to endure physical pain in silence, and to lock all emotions away behind a stoic façade. However, everyone has their breaking point. I found mine yesterday, when I found Roza, cold and lifeless and covered in blood, lying on the floor of the cave. Alberta had clearly found hers. I was deliberating between offering support, and giving her the privacy that she had clearly been seeking, when a rustled tree branch caused her head to snap up, her eyes locking with mine. Her Guardian mask was back up in a second- something that showed her level of control. It also showed how much it must have taken to break it.

"I apologize Guardian Petrov, I didn't mean to disturb you,"

"No," she sighed, "I should be apologizing to you. I've been so afraid of facing my past that I wasn't prepared to do what was necessary to help you avoid that kind of pain." She smiled wryly, "I suppose I owe you an explanation.

**Okay, so Alberta's story will be first thing next chapter. There just wasn't room in this one, and I wanted to ask something of you readers. There are several ways I can go with this story, and you can help decide. Leave reviews with a number between 1 and 5, 1 being little to no twist, 5 being ridiculously twisted. Suggestions are welcome too, and if I particularly like it, I may use it in the story, with a shout-out to whoever suggested it. **


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